


Introspection

by stxrdrifter



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Canon Rewrite, It would save everyone the headache, M/M, Rewrite of June 17th, Yosuke Hanamura PLEASE just accept you are bisexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:55:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28950762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stxrdrifter/pseuds/stxrdrifter
Summary: Yosuke has some time to think
Relationships: Amagi Yukiko/Satonaka Chie, Hanamura Yosuke/Narukami Yu
Kudos: 15





	Introspection

“Ugh, I’m so hungry!” Yosuke clutched his stomach, hunched over himself sitting on the tent floor. The meal that Chie and Yukiko attempted to create was a sickening disaster, which meant he didn’t get to eat that night. Yu mentioned something about teaching them how to actually cook, but that wouldn’t get them out of their current situation.

“It’s a shame we couldn’t get any from your, uh… your  _ friend, _ ” Yu grumbled. He sat awkwardly opposite to Yosuke, looking off into space.

“She’s not my friend. She still owes me!”

Before the conversation could continue, the two heard a noise from outside. Yosuke was the first to speak, “Who’s there?”

“It’s just me.” Kanji’s gruff voice emanated through the tent walls as he let himself inside. “The people I was staying with were super quiet, like someone had died or something. I got bored.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t because you were there?” Yosuke dared to ask. Kanji gave him a glare and he shivered. “N-nevermind.”

The three started chatting about random stuff; the cases, recent events, girls, all kinds of generic gossip. Yosuke ate Kanji’s animal crackers which almost earned him a trip to the ER, or even the morgue. 

“So, Kanji,” Yosuke muttered. The three were laying down, prepared to go to sleep. “Since now’s as good a time as any, are you actually… y’know…”  _ Gay _ , he wanted to say.  _ Into men _ , he thought, but his heart stopped him from speaking. 

Kanji didn’t pick up what Yosuke was inferring, “What?”

“I’m just saying… are we gonna be safe with you in here?” Yosuke instinctively flinched in preparation for Kanji to attack him, yell, whatever his mind could come up with, but nothing happened.

“I mean, yeah,” Kanji answered, “If anyone tried to come in here, I could kick their ass easy!”

_ That’s not what I meant,  _ Yosuke thought. 

Kanji sighed. “I’d like to think after everything, you could at least trust I wouldn’t do anything you didn’t want to do.” He stood up and left the tent, leaving a tense atmosphere in the air.

Yu looked over at Yosuke. “Hey—”

“Can it. I know.” He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, and his muscles relaxed. “I just… it’s weird, y’know? He says he’s not…  _ like that _ , but the TV world is supposed to show how your truest inner thoughts, right? So, like, he’s gotta be!”

“But why does that matter?” Yu looked at him, a genuine question behind his eyes. 

_ Because it’s weird, because I’m scared, because because because— _

“I don’t know.” Any number of reasons Yosuke came up with, it was all just a facade. He didn’t know why it was so important to him. Maybe he didn’t like the mystery of it? He just wanted a conclusive answer, perhaps? 

Ugh. 

Another rustle outside the tent. Mr. Morooka was shouting earlier, but his drunk stumble was audible from half a mile away, so it couldn’t have been him. Yu stayed relaxed, somehow, but Yosuke jumped to his feet. “Kanji? Look, I’m—”

“What? No, it’s us! Let us in!” Chie stage whispered. 

“What? But we’ll get in trouble, probably expelled if they find—”

“Just do it!” 

Yosuke threw his hands in the air. He looked to Yu, who just sat with a content and entertained smile. “You know, you could really speak up more.” 

Yu shrugged. 

Yosuke unzipped the tent and let the two girls in. They looked just as starved and exhausted as Yosuke felt. “Why are you two even here?”

“Hanako won’t stop snoring, it’s so loud!” Chie practically shouted. Yukiko flinched and reached to clamp her mouth shut.

“So you came  _ here? _ ” Yosuke responded bewilderedly. 

“You’re the only other people we really know,” Yukiko answered. Her solemn expression was in stark contrast to Chie struggling cartoonishly to escape Yukiko’s grasp. 

The group built a small barrier to separate the boys from the girls after Yukiko and Chie promised they’d be out before everyone else woke up. Chie and Yukiko were already asleep, and Yosuke was pretty sure Yu was too, leaving him alone in the dark with his thoughts.

And the hill behind him that he’d forgotten about. He tried to keep as much distance from Yu as possible in the tiny space they were cramped up in (not that Yukiko and Chie’s was much bigger), but with the fear of rolling down the hill taking root in his mind, he moved closer to his teammate.

Closer as in actively up against his teammate.

As in actively resting his head on his teammate’s chest.

“You okay?” 

Yu’s voice startled Yosuke. It was much bassier than normal, a side-effect of exhaustion and the late hour. “Y-yeah, I just… I felt like I was gonna roll down the hill.” He felt his face heat up.

What was this? He’d never felt this way before. His face heat up. Yu was his teammate, why was he so close to him? His pulse was steady, the same with his breathing. It was… relaxing. It took Yosuke’s mind off of his internal panic for only a moment before it all set back in again.

“Hey, Yu? Are you okay with this?” Yu’s heart did not falter. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? We’re friends, right?” 

“Yeah…”

A sense of disappointment washed over Yosuke.  _ Why am I sad about this? Of course we’re just friends. _ His mind turned to Kanji. The imagery in the sauna, the very obvious overtones of Kanji’s sexuality. Why was he so obsessed with Kanji’s feelings? 

It shouldn’t matter to him.

So why did it? Was it that he felt he could relate?

He looked over at Yukiko and Chie. They were wrapped around each other as though they were a married couple. They’d been affectionate as long as Yosuke could remember, even going as far as Yukiko’s shadow calling Chie her prince. 

They were both girls, but that didn’t matter. They were allowed to act that way; cuddly, affectionate. He was currently laying on Yu’s chest but it felt taboo. Like he had to be  _ into  _ Yu to be where he was. But he doesn’t feel that way, why would he? Yu’s a guy. He’s a guy. 

_ So?  _ The voice was soft in his mind, but resonant. Jiraiya, without a doubt. 

_ What do you mean, so? _ Yosuke thought back.

_ What does that have to do with how you feel?  _ His persona asked.

_ I… I don’t know, _ the boy answered.

The presence of his persona lingered for a moment before vanishing all together.

Yosuke hardly slept that night. Too much to think about.

The following morning, Yosuke woke up in the same position he’d fallen asleep in. Yukiko and Chie were gone, as promised, leaving the two of them alone. 

“Good morning,” Yu grumbled. He was still clearly half asleep. Yosuke pulled himself off the ground and hoped he’d forget about their sleeping arrangements.

And that Chie and Yukiko were too tired to even notice.

They went out to where everyone else was for breakfast. Yu had a friend (Ayane Matsunaga was her name?) that brought enough food to share—and was willing to share, unlike Hanako—and Yosuke couldn’t thank her enough. It was a basic meal, eggs and bacon, but it somehow tasted better than anything Yosuke had ever eaten. Whether it was because he was hungry or because Yu had helped her cook it didn’t matter to him. It was delicious.

“Thank you for the food, Matsunaga-chan!” Chie and Yukiko cheered as they separated for the day. Chie and Yukiko walked ahead with Yu, talking about the case or something, leaving Yosuke and Kanji hanging back.

Yosuke swallowed hard before speaking. “Hey man, I wanted to uh… to apologize. For last night, I mean.” 

“Dude, it’s alright. I get it. My shadow was  _ super weird, _ I know—”

“No,” Yosuke cut him off. Kanji looked at him, stunned. “I shouldn’t have been so judgy and insistent on it. I’m sorry.”

“Oh. Thank you, then.” 

The two walked in silence until getting to the river, where Yosuke gave Chie and Yukiko bathing suits he pervertedly purchased, and the three boys had a very alarmingly cold bath for something Yosuke knew he absolutely deserved.


End file.
